it's been a while since i've written a legitimate post... and after having a tumultuous day, i thought i'd give it a go.

the past two weeks have been exhausting. annalee started first grade, marlie started kindergarten, i put half of my kids on the bus to go to school all day, harper turned three (today) and started talking about "chicken clams" more than i expected anyone could. london got her first tooth, pulled up to standing, started signing "more," started blowing kisses and started crawling. and as if that weren't enough growing up for one week, she then scheduled her first job interview.

i went to two different baby showers and the children's museum, served on "playground duty" at school, did kindergarten orientation, threw an 80's themed roller skating party, had 2 different meetings, started and finished a great book, got my teeth cleaned and got robbed. (we had one car break down, and the other one broken into, ending my long-term love affair with my GPS.) then, after all that, we got vagabonds. (ok, not exactly vagabonds... more like traveling, musical, hippy, writers. but, i loved them so.)

in addition to all that, one of my grandmothers had to be moved into a different nursing home because her worsening Alzheimer's has made it impossible to live without constant care and supervision, while my other grandmother (i find out this morning) is going to start receiving hospice care.

this was heavy couple of weeks. now, this is all in the midst of our usual craziness, which could include some or all of the following on any given day:
  • some room in my house probably smells faintly of poop or pee, sometimes a cocktail of the two. (this actually makes a little sense.)
  • some room in my house may smell faintly of chinese takeout. (this, makes less sense.)
  • i am cleaning like wild for some upcoming something which requires me to have a clean house. (this week it was the 2 hours notice we had before our vagabonds arrived.)
  • someone is sick.
  • someone has serious 'tude that needs adjusting.
  • someone has regressed and insists on talking like a baby... but this never actually sounds cute like a baby, it really just sounds more like a muppet with speech delays.
  • i have errands to run, groceries to get, chores to do, gifts to buy, thank you notes to write, library books to return, baby food to make before all those squashes go bad, laundry to do, and on and on it goes...
i have spent the last couple of hours feeling so blue. really though, i don't know if i am blue at all... just drained. this has been a couple of draining weeks. so, instead my usual go-to emotion (guilt), i am going to allow the exhaustion to overtake me. i am going to slowly back away from the chocolate, i am going to get my kids off the bus and put in a movie for us to all watch together. i am going to stay in my pajamas, and i am going to let it be friday. the craziness will start back up tomorrow... i know that all too well, but i am going to let it be done for today. i am going to think about my sweet, lovely grandmothers, and i am going to lean into the comfort of knowing the same jesus they both spent their lives clinging to.