Some days are more conducive to being kind than others. Not necessarily because I am in a bad mood, or because I am a hate monger. I mean, sometimes that's it. But, it can also be plenty of non-hateful reasons. For example:
- There are sometimes whole, entire days where I do not leave my house at all. I am a shut-in and I'm fine with it.
- There are days when I am non-stop, no room for anything extra, completely chaotic busy. I hate these days, and I usually over-correct by shutting in.
- Then, there are days when you start packing suitcases because your maybe-baby's birthmother is starting to have contractions. Ahhhhhhh!
Yep. You read that right. Nothing is ever for sure in this thing called adoption, but as it stands... we are just waiting for a call to head to Manhattan to GET OUR BABY BOY!!! The birthmother will be induced by Saturday at the latest, so that means it will literally be any day. My heart is simultaneously full of joy and breaking from sadness.
I am beyond excited about the possibility of this being our "mistry baby," and on the the other hand I am thinking of this young woman who is experiencing all of the labor pains and fears and concerns... and will ultimately walk away without her child to make it all feel worth it. I have the utmost respect for birthmothers and I know that I can not undo the pain that this separation will bring to them both. I am amazed at her tenacity and her fight and her stubborn strength so far... and I am so afraid that if I get the chance to meet her, that I will totally blow it.
Needless to say, I spent the day doing mostly household kindnesses. I don't know how to cope with all the maybes... maybe this will be the one, or maybe not! Maybe she will change her mind when she gives birth, or maybe she won't! Maybe you will have the baby for a month and then she'll change her mind, or maybe not! Maybe I will say the wrong thing to her, or maybe I won't get to meet her at all. Maybe, maybe, maybe... It is just enough to make you snap at your husband all day for no reason. Not that I have done that, I am just saying that I could see how an otherwise lovely gal, could get a little sass to her in such a situation.
For Day 16, Tom mowed our neighbor's yard. Not the swearer, but the other neighbor, who actually works third shift, and I don't really know what hours those are, but I don't think he comes home during mowin' hours. Sure, the yard is teeny tiny, and he did it while looking like a mad scientist, because his hair was completely out of control... but he got the job done and it is gonna have to count because Mama was a crazy lady today. Which leads us to my family-focused kindesses:
- Haircuts all around. Tom honestly looked like Sideshow Bob, so I de-Sideshow Bobbed him and he is looking fresh and handsome. I gave Harper the sweetest "mowhog" he ever saw, and he couldn't have been happier. Well, that's not true, he actually would have been much happier if I had acquiesced to his demand that I shave off his eyebrows. Still, he is also fresh and handsome. Marlie got a trim in time for picture day. I got rid of London's Beatles mullet and Annalee is currently growing out, and passed on the trim altogether. I also trimmed my own hair. Since I have always cut all 6 (almost 7!! maybe.) of our hair... I will save our family about a quarter of a million dollars in hair grooming services over the course of our lifetime. That is very kind of me, thank you very little.
- I did 155 loads of laundry. I am nearly caught up.
- I started PACKING A SUITCASE!! Bottles, onesies, bibs, burp rags... all the stuff I forgot about completely.
Okay, I realize that I was hardly Mother Theresa today, but I am under a great deal of stress...and c'mon... I am preparing to retrieve an orphan. Does that not count!? If that doesn't count, then I should show a before picture of my husband's hair. You would realize the great kindness I have bestowed upon the general public just by removing the wild Mufasa mane that was Medusa-ing directly outward from his temples.