Well, I am maaaaaad behind on posting and I have been driving all day, so I will keep this brief! I have been toying with the idea of shifting away from blogging and moving toward podcasting and/or video blogging. The jury is out, but I am too haggard to even consider putting my face on camera at the moment. So, let’s consider this a micro-blog for tonight.
I went home to celebrate the life of a family friend, Earl Dean. He was the wonderful father of my friend Heather. As many of you already saw on Facebook Live, I stayed with my mom and interview her about #AdamsActs. She is out of control, so enjoy that little video if you haven’t already checked it out, and here’s a taste of how extra she can be.
I shared that my act of kindness on the trip there was handing out $5 gift cards to Tim Horton’s to the Canadian border patrol. Canadians cannot get enough of Tim Horton’s and their garbage coffee. The American side would not accept my gifts because apparently they cannot get enough of following arbitrary rules that forbid them from enjoying life and kindness.
For Day 18, I wrote out a bunch of cards for Heather and on the envelope I noted specific days that she may open them. When someone passes away - especially someone as involved in
Heather’s life as her dad was - there will be many moments where she will feel his absence so keenly it can feel unbearable. I tried to anticipate what some of those moments might be, like Father’s Day, or her birthday, or when her dad’s flower garden starts to break through the thawing spring ground. Those will be moments that she needs a reminder that she is loved and thought of, and certainly not alone.
For Day 19, I filled up my mom’s car with gas and I spoke at Fellowship of Christian Athletes for my bro Joe. I was spazzy and unprepared, and I busted in on all my fave coaches/teachers right in the middle of their classes, announcements and observations. Sorry, not sorry! They’ve met me, so they weren’t terribly surprised especially considering I have the exact same maturity level as I did when I was playing volleyball (poorly) in high school.
Me and Tracey Wilson - principal, former coach, friend and #AdamsActs extraordinaire! I was lucky enough to be there when a couple of kids were receiving gift cards for getting caught being kind to others at school! It was such an honor to meet these kind kids and peer pressure them into reading my blog.
After spazzing myself around the high school like a total crazy, my niece treated me to breakfast, which was very sweet seeing that she is a broke college kid. I tried to encourage and affirm her life choices - which are wise and brave - so it was easily done.
After that, I went to the cemetery and left a penny on Adam’s headstone, because it’s a thing some of us do. There is always a penny there. I spent some time sitting in the grass, thinking of Adam and wishing I could talk to him. When I tried, all that came out was “hey buddy.” and then so many projectile tears. I wanted him there, in real life, to talk to me and to be on my team. I need his advice right now, and I need to feel like he understands me and hears me. I want him to be here, standing beside me and holding my hand when I feel scared to make big changes in my life.
I sat by his headstone and thought about the three words that my parents chose to be engraved there forever.
I was particularly focused on peacemaker. I love that it doesn’t say peacekeeper, but peaceMAKER. It is a lot easier to be a keeper of peace - especially false peace - than it is to be brave enough to be honest and work toward creating TRUE peace. To be a peacemaker, you have to identify problems, you have to speak hard truths, and you have to be willing to create something new. This is who I am striving to be. Not a keeper of an illusion of peace, but a maker of true, authentic peace.
I suppose that even though my big brother is not here to hold my hand and give me advice, he is still teaching me and today it felt like he was on my team.