I have been dragging my feet writing this final post to bring October to a close. All month I feel a slow, building, ominous tension. It’s like the atmospheric pressure that builds before a storm. This year, being the 30th anniversary of my brother’s murder, that looming dread was not insignificant. So much of it is just grief, and a lot of it is pressure I put on myself to close out the month with something valiant and epic in his memory. After years of this pattern I am aware that this self-imposed mission to make something meaningful come of Adam’s death, is an attempt to heal myself.
Losing Adam, my only brother, as an 11 year old girl impacted me in such deep and profound ways. If I could successfully turn his tragic death into something beautiful and far-reaching, maybe his absence from my life would hurt less. And if my efforts didn’t serve to alleviate the grief, then at least widespread knowledge of his death would help explain why it still hurts so much. This year, in addition to #AdamsActs of kindness each day, I also worked to build a scholarship fund. The money raised will go toward the college expenses of two student-athletes like Adam. One - a student from Grand Haven High School where my brother attended, and the other - from a community with less resources, funding and supports available. As I have shared, my work at @thehub585 allows me to serve my community’s most vulnerable children and families (mostly youth experiencing foster care) so identifying a young person deserving of this scholarship will not be difficult.
Apart from raising a couple thousand dollars with the help of many of you… my last few #AdamsActs included donating a $25 gift card that I earned for participating in a survey, giving lunch to a homeless gentleman, and attempting to treat a young friend of my nephew’s to hot chocolate but that hasn’t quite happened yet, and giving a thank you note and gift card to our mailman. We also brought cookies to someone very special - my son’s birthmom, who we just met for the first time in 15 years. I share this with his permission & that’s all I will say, because he has plans to share for himself when he’s ready.
Thank you all for joining me on this journey of healing, discovery and generosity. Kindness is transformational, and I can attest to a hundred ways that I have been transformed through this. I look forward to spreading joy through acts of kindness all year long, and continuing to build Adam’s legacy through this scholarship fund. If you would like to contribute I would be forever honored and grateful. Even the smallest moments of kindness, collectively, can change how someone experiences the world on any given day. And like kindness, the financial impact of our meager donations is cumulative. One or two dollars from thousands of people may be the difference in whether or not a young person is able to attend college.
*If you’d like to contribute you can venmo: @adamsacts or cashapp: $adamsacts
